Billy-Bob bursts into his favorite bar one Friday night and shouts,
\u201cDrinks for everybody \u2014 it\u2019s on me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender raises an eyebrow.
\u201cWell now, that\u2019s the spirit. What\u2019s got you celebrating?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy-Bob grins from ear to ear.
\u201cI just landed a job with the city! Starting Monday, I\u2019ll be going around collecting all the money from parking meters!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender laughs, congratulates him, and serves the round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monday night rolls around. Billy-Bob storms back in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTwo rounds for everyone \u2014 my treat!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender chuckles.
\u201cIf you\u2019re this thrilled just about starting, I can\u2019t imagine how excited you\u2019ll be when you get your first paycheck!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy-Bob freezes. Slowly, he pulls a fistful of quarters from his pocket, eyes wide with amazement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait\u2026 you mean they\u2019re going to pay me on top of this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a corner bar with entrances on three different streets \u2014 one on each side and one right at the corner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A very drunk man stumbles through the first door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d says the bartender. \u201cYou\u2019re too drunk. I can\u2019t serve you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The man grumbles, walks back outside, turns the corner, and finds another entrance. He walks in again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Same bartender. Same refusal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Confused but determined, he staggers out once more, circles around to the third entrance, and steps inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sees the bartender again \u2014 and stops cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After squinting at him for a long moment, he blurts out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUnbelievable\u2026 do you own every bar in this city?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A painfully modest man was in the hospital undergoing several medical tests. The last one had left his stomach in total rebellion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After several embarrassing false alarms to the bathroom, he convinced himself the latest rumble was just another scare \u2014 so he stayed in bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moments later, disaster struck. Completely mortified and thinking irrationally, he leapt out of bed, ripped off the sheets, bundled them up, and hurled them out the hospital window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Outside, a drunk man happened to be walking past when the bundle landed squarely on him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Panicked, he started shouting, swearing, and flailing wildly, trying to free himself from the attacking fabric. After a chaotic struggle, the soiled sheets lay defeated at his feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire scene walked over and asked,
\u201cWhat on earth just happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The drunk stared at the tangled mess on the ground and said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n